A Few Reflections on the Death of a Child

I was recently asked to do a funeral for a baby girl who died of SIDS at 3 months. You never look forward to a funeral because death is evil plainly put, but for my third funeral, the death of this little baby? My first was burying my cousin who died of a heroine overdoes. A few months ago, an older lady in our church passed away. There is some reason behind the death of the other two. But a baby dying at 3 months? It seems so senseless. But I do feel called to do this sort of thing as challenging as it is.

You want to know why did God let this happen. And the why question can drive you nuts. Especially because we know that God is a God of power and love and so he was able to save that child's life if he had acted. There seems to be this dissonance, between God and a death like this. Yes you can say we live in a fallen world, a dangerous, chaotic place. But this does not help. You can ask the why question ad nauseam and it won't get any better. The why question only seems to mock you. So where do you go from here. You go back to what you do know.

First, we don't know answers to many why questions. Enough said.

Second, we still affirm that God is good, loving and all powerful. He weeps over a friend, whom he permitted to die, would he also weep over this tiny baby whom he permitted to die? I don't think that because the all powerful God permits horrible things to happen that he enjoys them or thinks yes this was a good thing that this child died. He weeps and yet, still permits it to happen.

Third, God tasted the death of the cross to rid of of death, sin, pain, and tears.

Violence erupts again on 5th St.

October 15, 2009.

We've had several more shootings in our neighborhood. Two happened back to back, very close to home. One about 11:30 after my sister's wedding while I was walking back from parking the car on 6th street and the other the following night on June 20th at about 10:30 while I was in the kitchen. More recently on Monday October 12th, there was a shooting, where people were screaming and there walk a sustained exchange of fire. Someone ran down our street within a minute of it happening. Police came flying to the scene, which I don't think was very close, but close enough. The bellow report is taken from the South Philly review from the night of June 20th.

The June 25th South Philly Police Report had...

__
Wounded in crossfire
Gunshots rang out on the 1700 block of South Fifth Street at about 10:30 p.m. Saturday and two men caught in the crossfire have little to tell police about the incident that sent them to the hospital.
Fourth District police responded to a report of gunshots fired and found an 18-year-old with wounds to his right arm and left leg, Detective Danielle Tolliver of South Detective Division said. Transported to Jefferson, the man was listed in stable condition.
Less than an hour later, a 16-year-old came to Jefferson with a graze wound to his left thigh, Tolliver said.
No motive has come to light and no descriptions were given as neither teen saw anything or thought they were the intended targets.
At the scene, police recovered 16 fired cartridge cases and a bullet projectile inside a parked vehicle. Three parked cars also were damaged by the flying bullets, Tolliver said.
To report information, call South Detectives at #

Shot in the darkness

(originally written in April 2009)
I recently have experienced several events and heard many stories of events on the streets lately. I was struck by hearing gunshots for the first time in my neighborhood two weeks ago at about 1:30. Pop....pop-pop. My wife was in the next room nursing. I was awake enough to hear the shots and then listen for the sirens to confirm that someone had been hit, but not awake enough to actually get up and scope out the situation. I wanted to get up and ask my wife if the gunshots were infront or behind the house. It sounded distant enough that it wasn't much of a problem. My wife did not hear the shots when I asked her the next day.

I've heard gunshots before but this time it was different. This time my little baby boys were just in the next room. Where we have chosen to minister will impact them. They will be exposed to all this violence and madness. I remember when I was teaching 4th grade at Cornerstone Christian Academy how much the kids went through at such young age. One of the boys talked about how he had lost his virginity to his girlfriend and he was only 9 years old. Each one there knew someone who had been shot, and many knew relatives or neighbors who had been killed. Each one knew to duck even when just a car backfired. I remember during class one day someone started shooting outside. We had school in an old building, probably someone's mansion that was now converted into a school. There was a recreation center and a park across the street that took up an entire city block. The park was filled with broken glass and occasionally a strange individual that you would not want to meet in a dark alley. From the other side of the park the shooting began to happen. All the boys hit the floor like it was natural and started yelling for me to hit the floor as well. I ran over to the window being the dumb suburbanite hungry for action that I was. But this was real and a matter of life and death to the kids. They kept yelling, Mr. Stephan, Mr. Stephan, get down! Finally after a few minutes we resumed class. I'm struck by the fact that now my boys have to grow up with that. Its a reality I never knew nor think any child should grow up with. I never knew as a kid that you could loose your life or a person you admired or loved one in an instant because they were mistaken for someone else or involved in something they shouldn't have been. But now its something I deal with on an almost daily basis. My kids will when they are able to understand have to deal with it.

We now live near an area notorious for drugs and gun fighting. Our block seems to be more docile but it always spills over. 5th street in South Philadelphia. We get all sorts of weird reactions from native South Philadelphians when I tell them we've moved near 5th Street. I almost always find myself saying, its getting better, or well, yeah 5th street is bad but our block is a haven in the midst of the madness. All the while I'm thinking in the back of my mind, I hope its not as bad as I keep hearing. But bad or not, its now where I live, where my wife and kids live, and where we believed we've been called to live out the presence of God for now. Sometimes I feel a little embarassed to my South Philly Italian friends, yeah I live near 5th. Now that we live there, people do not comment quite as much, they just get that worried pained look on there face. My African American friends just kinda say, I wouldn't be seen around there.

The first time I heard gunshots close to home was near the first apartment we lived in on 10th and Snyder. I wasn't sure but they sounded different than fireworks. Now I've probably forgotten a few of the times I've heard them. But you never get used to it. I don't think my 4th grade boys ever got used to it. I doubt my boys will ever get used to it, I pray they don't. Each gunshot stands in your mind, alone. Was someone hit? Were two people shooting? Was it a driveby? Did I just hear the last sound that someone heard before they died? Should I run, should I hide, should I call the cops? What should I do? What can you do in the face of such things?

Saved by Grace

April 15, 2009- This is from a dear friend ____ who I've spent a number of years with and met and ate with time and time again. I remember him relating this experience to me. The way he explained it at the time he did not tell me the background story. He just stated that he had almost been shot, and he made it seem like random street violence. In the Wilson projects where he was living at the time I would have believed it and did. They were a rough place.

This is his bio for his facebook page.

This is a mini bio about me !!!

I was born in a split home , my mother a God serving person and my father well he was deep into sin . I have two older brother's and one older sister, yes i am the youngest out of my family .I grew up in a very bad hood in deep south philadelphia . I went to all public school's and i've always attended my mom's church . Altho i attended my mother's church my whole life i wasn't always a christian. I'll say untel about age 14 i was going because i had too. Then one sunday my mother told me she was no longer going to attend church because of growing problems with my father and pastor . So at age 14 she told me it's not her say anymore if i should go or not that it was my life my soul . I went anyway not because i was called but because i wanted to see my friends i've made there still . I was happy with my life untel age 14 - 15 or so 9th grade year . Started high school meet new people and started acting out " to stay kool to stay in " . Thats when i stop going to church for a year atless . My problem's at home got worse with my father so i moved out at age 16 on my own . Age 16 - 18 i lived with friends , family and alone . I've worked many job's but the money wasn't fast enough so i started selling durg's never use them myself but sold them for a good year almost . Now at age 18 still selling drug's i was never locked down for it but i was jump on shot at and the like . One day coming home from somewhere i stop to pray at a local park where i was jump at once . I was praying for a way out of the life i was leading beside's death or jail and i told myself i would live my life for God everyday if he help me this once just that once . So after i got done praying i went on home and as i got to the block i notice all my crew ( my gang ) being arrested all at once the cop's missed me by atless 5 min's because i stoped to pray . So i saw what God had done and told myself this is it my new start my chance to start over . Only someone from my crew notice i didn't get hit and assumed a told on everyone . So they came for me , i'll never forget that moment sitting in my living room watching the afc chap game new england vs coult's . I saw this person looking throw my window and when i look closer he shot at me one round hit the wall where my head was and the other hit the chair i was sitting in , in the chest area . I remember thinking this is crazy while laying on the floor then i repented and return to the lord on all four's . So at age 18 i joined the army and for the pass 3 years i've been travaling and seeing the world . Being deployed brings great light on just how bless we are . Now i spend most of my time helping out at my church with leading youth event's and making house call's to see how poeple are doing . I can say now that my church other christian and youth is what i love now . Even after God has shown me his grace and love i still ask him for one more thing .

Another Saga Goes Wrong

You never expect people you know and love to be on the 5 o'clock afternoon news. But recently someone was involved in something that the news got wrong, the detail were actually worse. The result was that a loved one was shot before her eyes. He died instantly. One shot to the chest. The shooter came over to her and would have shot her too, but for some reason left her alive.

This was a first for me and it is disturbing to the 'nth degree. A murder had instantly taken a life away. I don't want to write much more at this point because I want to respect the family.